Bottled in Extreme Clarity

….went for an Oktoberfest event earlier today….first time i had so much german food… surprisingly good. May have had a pint of german beer, wont know… im not a beer connosieuer…. but anyway had a good nite out tonite… good to be able to blog again, have been away for ages due to ….work….work ….. and work.

Several things,..events actually popped up…which im glad happened cos now i have a further back perspective on things. Have been writing notes on FaceBook too… could not just let it stay inside me..had to let it have an outlet…which is why im thankful for Notes …hopefully it reaches to the people who matter and can do something about it.

Cos if it does… it just might make a difference to the way things are in our country right now. And from recent happenings…it just could happen……keeping fingers crossed……it would be nice to be able to make something WORK instead of just blogging /writing/talking about it.

On the other hand… I will be away frm this blog… to continue what Im doing on FB. Its what I want to do,,, its not easy.. theres a lot… a whole lot more to be done.

But im convinced its one of the courses of action to take things forward,,,,and for that, may not have so much time on here.

Here’s to pseudo retirement… :0)

Saw Steam boy today… quite a superb show…….
ended up at church …. quite not my plan to do so…so sat outside scribbling notes… but at same time overheard the visiting priests sermon… something along the lines of…

“Go forth!…Live life with passion!… share your lives with your fellow community members! You can enjoy life unto the fullest…as long as you listen to what God says!”

I can just imagine how many different interpretations can come from that last line alone.

Certain events today remind me of my age right now…… I think, ultimately … I am too old, too lazy maybe… and hv lived too long in this skin…to want to be somebody else. A case of stubborness and bad attitude too? Guess it comes with the age.

26th December, 2006

Few days ago, dadda had expressed a concern…
dadda: boo has way too many pressies again…
dadda: think we’re gonna have to stagger it…
cat: pre-xmas, xmas and post x’mas pressies?
dadda: yea, i reckon so
dadda: else she wont appreciate them

Wat a sensible dadda.

Earlier today…
cat: what’s her fave toy?
dadda: god she has too many…
dadda: but she was soo good
cat: oh really?
dadda: she unwrapped each one then played with it then open the next..etc

Dadda reckons also her fave is really the baby. She has her own baby now…with its own potty and all..

GOD WHAT A SIGHT THAT MUST BE!!!!

….with the limited resources and time… which do i sacrifice? Which do i get hissy anal about? Not that I dont want to have both, but………resources are limited. Not that one is less important than the other… just not to the exclusion of all else.

So…………………

Grammar or Fact?

Grammar or fact, grammar or fact, apostrophes or fact, plurals or facts, singulars or fact, verbs or fact, nouns or fact, adjectives or fact, meaning or fact, word arrangement or fact, understanding or fact, comprehension or fact….grammar or fact?

Get my drift?

See? Isnt that enough?

Fact rules. Cos there’s just too much bullshit in the world.

…i think lack of sleep did not help.Had an eventful night…not helped much by redbull, sambucas and tequilas… met an awfully nice bunch of folks who kept cracking me up with their antics… I had no idea Austrians were so funny.

All at same time, friend did it again. Clash of opinions, clash of tempers, clash of different needs and wants.

What she wants for me, ISNT what I want for me. She has absolutely no idea (or maybe she does) how difficult it is for things and people and situations to move and be EXACTLY the way that i want it. Exactly the way that will suit me. Not her. ME. The situation and way people are is so rare and so extremely hard to come by that I nearly doubled over when she took it off of my hands.
As much as I love her, needless to say i was pissed off. I could tear my hair out.

The unexpected situation that arose last night…didnt help as well….I wasnt ready! Shellshocked as well…. As much as I was pleased about it even though not for the reasons that I would like, I wasnt ready!!! In a few months maybe…. but the day after was too much for my system.

It’s all out of my hands, now.

Deadlines coming soon. Hallelujah.

Recently, i found myself involved in *of all things* a church project. I had to co-operate with several other church members to try to get a project going and completed. One of my biggest faults I realise, is my lack of patience. Chomping on the bit, I like to see things get started so i can get a feel of where it could go. Its mostly a bad habit which i have to break, I know.

Not too long after that, I also found myself sending an email to members involved…that went something along the lines of -

“We are a small and self-sufficient team. We have limited resources but we make the best of what we have.” We have to. How can we not?

That’s the reality of life. We could wish all we want for ideal elements, but as long as they arent within sight, we can hardly wait around for it to fall into our laps. We dont have the luxury of time.

With limited resources, we need everyone’s 101-percent and maybe more in the project. No time for hold backs, no time for qualms, no time for waiting around for certain things to happen. Sometimes, we have to make it happen ourselves. Thats the hard cold fact.

How much more do we tolerate those who insist on waiting for things to be handed to them ready and on a silver platter? How often do we have to go up against a wall and fall down while trying to climb up, before someone decides to step in, BE WITH US and give a hand to make it WORK?

And why is it that all the church project members involved will know exactly who it is Im talking about, except for that person herself?
Because, she will be too busy covering her ass and pelting back insults. Instead of using precious time to do something worthwhile for the things which most require the time and attention.

And the clock keeps ticking. How much longer do we have to wait for you to snap out of the “everyone’s out to get me” mentality and really really smell the coffee?

Am at friend’s place right now. … the baby in the family is reading up about card tricks on the internet and trying them out on us. After more than adequate loo time, had recovered enough to stuff my face wit Thai food…

More than anything…this time of the year reminds me not of X’mas but another whole year almost gone by.

Would be funny to say that with age…I’ve mellowed. And yet i know that now I know things that I never knew before.
I also touched base with a past aspect of my life, though ive yet to propel forward full steam ahead - I dont want to start a project and find that the things I care about full time, is demanding much more time and energy that i can spare for part time past times. I cant commit…I CANT COMMIT. Not to part time things, no i cant.

There are two websites to look at, one endeavor to look further into… but all at the same time, Im stressing about deadlines cos I think that what Im currently working on deserves so much more thought and attention than usual.

Its that time of the year… a full and detailed round up is so so SO much in order.

And looking at that aspect of my life then and now…i look at the people i used to talk to, and talk to now and i wonder what do they see when they look at me. Can they see how much my life has changed from since then?
My friend the other day was talking about how life had changed for her. How the people who came in and out of her life had made her to be the person she is today.

I’m slowing down. Not that certain pursuits in life are any less important…but theres a whole new approach to things, result of ever growing knowledge of human nature and perception of things and live. How I rebelled and refused to see how things really are.

Friend used to lecture me about certain facts of life… we’ve had different kinds of lives. We see things differently.Different things are important to us…and yet with time and after looking at how life is for my friend I have to say that I might come to yearn for it. Not yet. But maybe in the future for who knows what it holds.

Took a Tickle test with friend and got this back.

Catherine, you are balanced brain.
That means you are able to draw on the strengths of both the right and left hemispheres of your brain, depending upon a given situation.

When you need to explain a complicated process to someone, or plan a detailed vacation, the left hemisphere of your brain, which is responsible for your ability to solve problems logically, might kick in. But if you were critiquing an art opening or coming up with an original way to file papers, the right side of your brain, which is responsible for noticing subtle details in things, might take over.

While many people have clearly dominant left- or right-brained tendencies, you are able to draw on skills from both hemispheres of your brain. This rare combination makes you a very creative and flexible thinker.

The down side to being balanced-brained is that you may sometimes feel paralyzed by indecision when the two hemispheres of your brain are competing to solve a problem in their own unique ways.

Explains a LOT about confusion and blurred-ness most times. And maybe why I prefer collaborative brain-storming with lots of input from all involved. Gotta admit its time consuming though.

Also took another test about stress and friend got labelled a Soother (very True) and i got verdicted a Rock and Roller. Dunno why its called that cos it means I handle stress by doing the things i do like pacing, fidgeting, biting nails, ciggies, alcoholic, banging away non-stop on puter etc etc ETC.

Had a huge writers block lately and with the tight deadlines, had zombie-walked into the bookshop and tried to remember past hobbies… at last picked out watercolours, drawing block and two paint brushes. Thought twould help with flow of da juices…hahaha.
On plus side…hols are coming..dont know if it will help cos work never really leaves me (I WONT LET IT!!!), but will keep fingers crossed.

I need a real life without work lurking in the background.